May Contest Winner from Ambitious Writers at Goodreads

Olivia, our most awesome Mushroom, won May's writing contest with this entry:

Genre: Romance-Heartbreak. :'(
Rating: K+?
Word Count: 561
Summary: A girl writes a letter to the boy she loves on Valentine's Day, explaining her feelings.

February 14

Dear Alex,

You probably will never read this. In fact, you won’t. After I write this, I will shred it, or eat it, or watch it burn in a fireplace, depending on how dramatic I feel like being. Do you know why I’m writing this letter? It’s because I’m too shy to tell you my feelings to your face. Because I think I’m in love with you.

I know you’ll never like me back. For one thing, you’re like one of those stereotypical popular high school kids. Always laughing, the center of a crowd of beautiful people. You’re in all the AP and Honors classes, and you still get straight A’s. Me? Well, I’m in the average classes and I still barely scrape by with C’s and a few B’s. You’re like a beautiful palace, and I’m a rundown shack. (And the worst simile creator award goes to…) What I’m trying to say is, you’re so…so Alex, and I’m so Marissa. And what can be more different than you and I?

For another thing, I know that you’ve dreamed to be a doctor; that you’re planning to be a doctor when you go to college. What kind of an insensitive person would I be to try to distract you from your dream?

Have you ever felt your heart break, Alex? Have you ever felt your heart shatter into teeny tiny little pieces, and still love someone with all of those little pieces? Have you ever loved someone that wouldn’t – couldn’t – ever love you back? I have. I know that you’re smart enough to guess who I’m talking about.

I did everything I could for you to realize how much I love you. Every day I walked by your locker, said hi to you. And I always blushed when you said hi back. I wrote little notes and stuffed them in your locker when you weren’t looking. I always cheered you on at every football game, even if we were losing. Do you know how today, everyone was supposed to give everybody in our grade a valentine? When I was handing them out, I gave you a special one. You may not have noticed, or even cared if you knew, and I understand that. Do you want to know what I did?

I sealed it with a kiss.

I didn’t have lipstick on or anything weird or dramatic like that. I just kissed it. It may have been invisible to everyone else, but to me it was as public as a shout in complete and utter silence. I was hoping that you might somehow, against all odds, realize what I did.

But at the end of the day, I realized what a burden I might be to you. Who, after all, would want me, of all people, when they could choose from any girl in all four grades of our high school? So I promise I’ll stop with these hopes and dreams, because when they’re crushed, when all my hope is extinguished, it’ll hurt more if I draw them out. If I feed that tiny little flame of hope, I know it will contribute more to my sorrow. I promise I’ll stop with these hopeless fantasies. And when I’m finished with this letter, I promise that I’ll do my best to move on.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Alex.

Marissa